How to move, Lara Croft style.

Double fist everything and look pretty while doing it?  Nah, not really. But it does look pretty cool, doesn't it?
I am over picking up/cleaning to show the house.  I am over it not being rented or sold.  I am over everything.
When I first started boxing stuff up I would write with care what the contents are and make sure they were doubled up on packing tape, so not to break mid-carry.  Twenty Rolls of tape and a hundred boxes later (and one month) today I found myself throwing our belongings carelessly into the box - even playing my own version of basketball - and as for writing on the box it would go something like this:  Shit we don't use but he won't let me ditch.  Kitchen.  Because the kids and I have been living here still, I waited to pack the kitchen last.  Unfortunately, most of the stuff is fragile and my give a damn is busted. On one box I wrote Misc. shit.  That was about a week ago and I have no idea what's in it.  I had to make my way through all the boxes a few days ago because Jake had no pants.  All the ones that I left out for him...too small.  When did that happen?  Maybe it's the man sized appetite he has.

Silver lining:  I have learned during this whole process.  I didn't know I was capable of painting ceilings, trim and walls in four rooms.  Had no idea I could go to Home Depot, saw my own piece of moulding and install it on the worlds most uneven wall.  All by myself.  Well, with help from YouTube.  Yup, they have a video on how to install moulding on uneven walls.  I took carpet out of three rooms by myself and hauled it down to the road for large trash pick up - one piece of a time. I even dealt with the nasty padding under it.  Blech.   It has been an exhausting month, but I am getting to move to where I want to be and that is the biggest silver lining.  I had my moments of sheer hate spewing out of me but I quickly replaced them with Faith.  That faith is quite amazing when you believe in it.  I never understood it's true meaning until this move.  My ADD is kicking in and there are some ginger snaps hollering for me to eat them.  C-ya.  OOhhhh something shiny.

Horsin' around...

You know how "The song remembers when"?  Well, the smell does too.  Murphy's oil always takes me back to the same place.  As I close my eyes in the now, I imagine I am fifteen and am cleaning tack...saddles, bridles, hackamores.  I can almost feel them in my hands.  I am at Johnson's Riding Farm and I am getting Cricket ready to go gallop into the high fields.  There is no greater pleasure in my life than flying through the woods and jumping everything in site on horse back.

 Jolting myself back to reality, because this house isn't going to clean itself, I am almost sad.  Why, I ask myself why did you ever stop riding?

Myself can't answer that.  I suppose it was a combination of boys, needing to see the world and money.  Horses are expensive.  And I'll be honest, with the anxiety issues I have now I would be petrified to jump even the smallest stick while on a horses back.  I'd sit there and analyze the fifty things that could go wrong and then put myself right into rapid heart beat.  Yup, gotta love anxiety.

I have heard all these things about moving, such as "we didn't know how much crap we had..." or "living out of boxes" or "don't wait until you are moving to paint and replace the carpet, you'll be pissed your doing all this work for someone else to enjoy."  I get ALL of these.  Our rooms look huge without so much 'crap' in them.  And I am currently sleeping on my mattress in the living room and all of our clothes are in bins in there as all the furniture is out of the house. I have pretty much painted three bedrooms, ceiling, walls and trim solely.  I have also had to paint some downstairs.  That being said, I am absolutely thrilled my career choice was not house painter.  Dude, that job sucks.  My back is glad I am not a furniture mover.  It is screaming for Advil right now.

I am far too pretty to have to work this hard.  I am constantly sobbing that in my mind.

So here's my advice about moving.  Marry rich and hire people to do it for you.  Now, since that is not the case with me I am keeping a positive attitude (most of the time) and keeping my "Eye on the prize" (thanks Holly).

After all, if dreams were easy to reach - everyone would be doing it.  Hard work never hurt anyone.  Well, accept maybe the wrist of a painter and the back of a mover.

Life is changing!

In what very little spare time I have had during these stages of moving, I have been doing some blog surfing.  Reading some of these blogs I have come to these two conclusions:  people like blogs about food and my writing skills are way more good (hee hee) than most of these bloggers.

Yet, they are the ones with umpteen million followers.  WTF?  They are the ones getting paid off their blog.  They are the ones borrowing others recipes, taking pic's of them and acting as if they are the cooking hero of the year.  Now, I know, I know... it's a great way to share recipes and I personally google dinner ideas - normally resulting in a recipe from a blog.  My point is I could do that and I could do that better.  So I'll be changing my blog up a bit.

There is another reason I'll be changing it - the move.  My daily life will no longer involve blended family struggles.  And holy shit have we had them.  Nope, now it'll involve starting a fresh chapter and the occasional glare at Alan. My own bio evil spawn will still give me a hard time, I am sure, and the plethora of estrogen related verbiage that spews from my mouth when I think he is speaking to my  kids in a not so correct manor will be a staple in our lives until they are 18 and we say ba-bye.  Although, they don't always leave at 18...

So as we settle in I will continue to blog but it'll be about whatever, partly because I am ADD and partly because some of the shit that occurs in my life is too funny not to share.  My goal will be for people to relate to me and find humor in the craziness of our lives.  And an occasional yummy recipe.  Yes, with the pictures.

I had no idea how much I would grow to hate painting.  I effin' despise it.  Yesterday when my hand was cramping and my wrist could not move when I told it to, I decided to approach it differently.  A lot of life is a mindset.  I told myself to be grateful.  Be grateful that we had the money to buy the paint and I had the ability to paint (he may think different when he sees how sloppy it is) and we are able to move.  That attitude of gratitude got me through finishing about 2 more hours.  Instead of telling myself "you will get this room painted today" I said "what if you get this whole room completed today?"  Your brain won't argue with possibility.  You will however hear several voices arguing when you make a demand.  Some probably hear more voices than others.

Be grateful for life people.  Thank God for the day before you. Decide it will be a good great day and it will be.  

364 days till 40

What a lovely start to the first day of my 39^th year. Alan was leaving early to go to a conference near the B&B so we were the only ones downstairs for breakfast and sat at a table with a candle burning while enjoying our morning coffee – a candlelit breakfast.  He left and I returned to our room, determined to write for two hours.  That is exactly what I did and it felt great.  It’s funny, sometimes when I am writing I get so pulled into the emotion I felt at the time of the trip that I want to punch Alan in the head.  He doesn’t seem to see the humor in that. I have never taken a writing class but would assume that is what you learn, to put your mindset as if you were still there and allow the emotions to erupt and fly through the fingertips onto the keyboard.  Writing and hiking are two of my favorite things and I get to do both today.  I don’t need cake (seriously, looking at my muffin top I don’t), balloons or gifts.  My gift is me time and my gratitude is immense for it.  I feel as though when I do get a break from my darling children I am a better mom for it.  They too enjoy the break from me, I suppose.  It’s easy when you are away from your daily reality to decide how to improve things.  The problem usually is, well for me anyway, that not everyone in the house understands that I rule.  Simple things could make our house so much happier.  If people would just listen to me…maybe it’s not even so much about the listening as it is about respect.   That seems to be missing from our house.

When I turned 30 it was quite difficult for me.  I was one of ‘those’ people who cried and had a very hard time accepting that I would no longer be in my 20’s.  More so than the actual age, I think what upset me the most was where I was at in life.  I expected that by 30 I would have my shit together and be in full swing of the good life.  Not on my 2^nd divorce.  Less financially stable than 10 years earlier and dazed and confused about what to do with life. 

Now that I am 364 days away from 40 I am welcoming it and grateful for each day.  I have gray hair and that’s ok.  That’s what the hair salon is for.  I have wrinkles and that’s ok.  That is what Arbonne is for.  I am comfortable in my own skin and know where I am going.  If just 10 years ago I knew what I do now about life and how to be successful I would be a millionaire already.

  

I am going to make great things happen this year.  All because I decided I will.  Yes folks, it’s that simple.

Now, it is 11:58 a.m. and my birthday.  Where the hell is the wine?!  

Greek Pizza anyone?

Let's cook, shall we?  Here is a 3 part video clip from yours truly on how to make my fabulous Greek pizza.  Please enjoy, oh and you may want to grab a drink to watch.  I couldn't condense it into 7 minutes like I wanted to.

Part 2

Part 3...yes the final one.

So... if you try it let me know!  Don't forget the wine, it's an important part ;)

Are you considering a blended family?

Just a little something I thought of and decided it was most important to get out there.  Like STAT.

This whole blended family thing ain't as easy as I make it look... (ha ha)

If you are considering marrying someone with children, whether or not you have them as well, don't just think short term.  Consider long term - 2, 5 even 7 years down the road. How old will their kids be and can you handle that?  Is the love you have now going to continue to burst out or will it get lost in the daily shuffle of your life?  There are  a lot of emotions you go through that you wouldn't even think would erupt.  Like, for example, am I taking away from my kids because I have to buy for his?  Don't frown on me, he has thoughts like that too.  It's only normal.  That's just one of many.  

A moment of juvenescence.

Yesterday my mom had the pink shag carpet from my childhood bedroom removed.

I admit, that stung. Not in a riled up sort of way but more like a quick pull of a band aid.  Plus, how am I going to make fun of it every visit if it isn't there?

 It is being replaced with some flooring that I missed the details on (sorry, mom) because immediately my mind went to a place of nostalgia and I pictured myself sitting on that pink shag listening to Cindi Lauper on my record player. I can't believe she is getting rid of that carpet.  The woman in me wants to say "good for you Elizabeth! I am so glad you can finally do the things with the house that you have wanted to for so long."  The selfish kid in me however had this to say (while stomping foot loudly and pointing) "NO!  That's my room and you can't do what you want with it."


I asked her if she would please go outside before they took the carpet away and cut pieces of it to make scatter rugs for the new floor... that was kind of said in jest, kind of truth.  Although I do always say that there is always truth in jest.

She's having it painted too.  Okay, sting now more like a band aid being pulled off tiny bits at a time.  I am sixteen, no wait maybe fifteen.  I am arriving home from my dads after my summer vacation down in Massachusetts.  I open my bedroom door expecting to find my room exactly the way I left it.  Instead I open it to blue and tie die.  "WHAT is this?"  "Happy Birthday!  Do you like it?"  I needed a moment to let it sink in.  I liked the tie die sheet that hung over the lite fixture on the ceiling.  But the walls...what is this stripe thing?  Okay had moment, still hasn't sunk in.  I'll pretend I like it for now and decide later if I really do.  Yes, eventually I decided I loved it.  It seems like all that happened just yesterday.  Clocks really should have wings as time does fly.


I really am happy for her.  It took a long time, but she is able to do the house the way she wants now.  When I say long time I mean like my twenty year High School reunion was last summer if that helps put it into perspective.

Because I analyze everything to death I started pulling this apart and thinking about my childhood and how it has affected my adulthood and what am I doing to my kids now and where is this country going to be if the lazy ass young adults who are too busy gaming and texting and having everything handed to them don't realize that life is not in fact handed to you?  That in the real world not everybody gets a trophy just for showing up.  And no, the effin dishes do not put themselves in the dishwasher.  How many times can that be repeated?  Every flippin' day, that's how many.  I just see so many slackers.  Common sense seems to be overruled by ignorance with this generation.  I fear for this country.  Yup, all this from pink shag carpet.  Amazing how the ADD mind works.

Squirrel.