364 days till 40

What a lovely start to the first day of my 39^th year. Alan was leaving early to go to a conference near the B&B so we were the only ones downstairs for breakfast and sat at a table with a candle burning while enjoying our morning coffee – a candlelit breakfast.  He left and I returned to our room, determined to write for two hours.  That is exactly what I did and it felt great.  It’s funny, sometimes when I am writing I get so pulled into the emotion I felt at the time of the trip that I want to punch Alan in the head.  He doesn’t seem to see the humor in that. I have never taken a writing class but would assume that is what you learn, to put your mindset as if you were still there and allow the emotions to erupt and fly through the fingertips onto the keyboard.  Writing and hiking are two of my favorite things and I get to do both today.  I don’t need cake (seriously, looking at my muffin top I don’t), balloons or gifts.  My gift is me time and my gratitude is immense for it.  I feel as though when I do get a break from my darling children I am a better mom for it.  They too enjoy the break from me, I suppose.  It’s easy when you are away from your daily reality to decide how to improve things.  The problem usually is, well for me anyway, that not everyone in the house understands that I rule.  Simple things could make our house so much happier.  If people would just listen to me…maybe it’s not even so much about the listening as it is about respect.   That seems to be missing from our house.

When I turned 30 it was quite difficult for me.  I was one of ‘those’ people who cried and had a very hard time accepting that I would no longer be in my 20’s.  More so than the actual age, I think what upset me the most was where I was at in life.  I expected that by 30 I would have my shit together and be in full swing of the good life.  Not on my 2^nd divorce.  Less financially stable than 10 years earlier and dazed and confused about what to do with life. 

Now that I am 364 days away from 40 I am welcoming it and grateful for each day.  I have gray hair and that’s ok.  That’s what the hair salon is for.  I have wrinkles and that’s ok.  That is what Arbonne is for.  I am comfortable in my own skin and know where I am going.  If just 10 years ago I knew what I do now about life and how to be successful I would be a millionaire already.

  

I am going to make great things happen this year.  All because I decided I will.  Yes folks, it’s that simple.

Now, it is 11:58 a.m. and my birthday.  Where the hell is the wine?!