I was thinking.
Yes, I do that sometimes, though often it would appear not.
But I was thinking about our journey, really since Alan and I got together. Hitched up. Married and whatnot. I am pretty sure most couples, especially blended families like us would not have survived as we have and I have to wonder why we are still together. Now, if I look back at how I lived I surely would have bolted by now, but I think I stay because so many children are involved...and there are two in particular that I have to look out for. I don't want my kids thinking marriages are disposable, because they are not. But when do you say enough is enough and stop living in a miserable cycle? What about the kids? I have talked to mine about it. I am brutally honest probably to a fault sometimes but I want their opinion. They know Alan and I struggle. I worry about them though and how they would handle it. After Alan lost his job and we had to move back, tail between our legs, to Chesapeake I heard about a gazillion times "don't worry kids are resilient." Really, like everyone said that. I disagree to an extent. What I mean is this: if kids are so resilient why are there so many fubar adults walking around...and they tend to blame their childhood? So, my theory is kids are not resilient. What they are, what we were, is able to adapt to the situation as an immediate action only to have it come out later in life.
So my question I ask again is this: If kids are so resilient why are there so many screwed up adults walking around? Some take meds for it, some act out to their loved ones, some just drink or turn to drugs to mask all the pain from their "resilience" they never faced as a child.
Have I got you thinking? Does it make sense? I am always saying "someday when my kids are in their late twenties they'll be in therapy talking about this." I say it in jest, but there is always truth in jest.
Yup, pretty sure the whole "Kids are resilient" thing is a crock of shit. But there is hope, in my opinion. You can teach them to handle these things that come at you a certain way. You can teach them positivity in the darkest situations. And you can teach them how to turn sucky crap that is slung at them from outside sources into an opportunity to better themselves and the world. And it all starts when they are too little to understand any of it. You are teaching even when you don't realize it. Mind yourself, they are the ones who will choose whether you get an in law suite or a nursing home.
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