Today Emma came bouncing off the school bus "MOM, mom guess what? Me and Jenna were the only two in our class who got all of our test right so Mrs. Mills let us pick out a toy or a candy!" "We both chose airheads."
Does anyone else see the irony? The smart kids choosing airheads...
Emma knows I do not approve of that particular type of candy. I would like for their teeth to stay in tact, without overpriced fillings. But ya know, every now and then I suppose it's ok and she did get a one hundred on the test. Jake? Jake, Jake, Jake.
God love him. Monday was testing day for about two and a half hours. ADHD, autism, aspergers...all of it. I was allowed to stay back and watch the whole thing. He has been through this testing before, when he was six. That time it was at Portsmouth Naval and I have never been made to feel like a worse parent than at the moment when the head of the psychology department pulled me into his office and told me I had a six year old with the worst case of ADHD and ODD that he had ever seen in his thirty years. I took it like a champ, thanked him politely and walked out and never went back there. Before making me feel like a heel, he showed me some of the testing that they had done. The whole time I was shaking my head and thinking there is no way...he knows this stuff. He is way too smart. I even asked "ummmm, excuse me but isn't six hours of testing a tad long on even a 'normal' six year old?" Oh the look I got. "I'll bet you get real mad at him don't you?" What the eff kind of question was that? Then he proceeded to tell me I would have to find a shrink in Chesapeake and get him on medication because ...and these are his words..."that is the only way he can function." Imagine hearing this about your child. That fat bastard is lucky I didn't punch him in the nose. Seriously dude, go to Jenny Craig, what's making you fat? Do you hide your own insecurities in a biggie size Wendy's meal for supper? And deodorant is what you would wear to make that smell go away. I wanted to lash out at him so badly. I wanted to say these things but instead it was a mere "thanks" with a blank stare and every ounce of believing in my son holding the tears back that were about to create a waterfall on my face.
And then the waterfall came. I had managed to get to the stairs and the tears spilled out of me like Niagara Falls. I ran through the hallways of Portsmouth naval alone, crying, searching for the exit because it's so friggin confusing in there and I knew I had ten minutes to get to the school to pick Jake up and it was at best a twenty five minute drive. I, of course didn't have the school's phone number in my phone but I called someone and got it. I felt so alone. Alone. Alone. The reason I was going to be late was because as so many Dr's do - this one got behind by about an hour. So I had to wait an extra hour to be told I sucked as a parent. I suspect his intention wasn't to make me feel like a failure but he did. Jake's teacher had no problem waiting until I got to the school to pick him up. She was awesome through this whole process and I was lucky enough to have her for Emma as well. In fact, all the teachers both of my children have had have been amazing and for this I am thankful. Speaking of teaching....
I try to teach my kids daily. I wonder, however, if they realize that they are teaching me? I suppose they won't realize it until they are parents themselves...and I hope they have children just like they are because in spite of all the grief they put me through I love them so much. Those naughty little misbehavin' children...whatever they are in life I just know they will be great because they had me as a mom. And God wouldn't have it any other way.
Now then I am off to finish the blackberry pie that needs to bake and grill up some fabulous steaks for the husband who has been gone for about thirty something hours looking at some engine rescue thing in Charlotte for a city that could care less if he continues employment here or not. No, no overtime, he went at his own will. Well I guess my opinion of whether or not he should've gone down to check it out is obvious. But what do I know? I am just the dame who can cook and keep a clean house (and I must say a maintained lawn) the dog, cat, chickens and people fed and still look this pretty. Yes dolls, it is so exhausting.
If you happen to see some crazy looking lady running down the road with a rolling pin in one hand and bottle of wine in the other it could in fact be me....but only if she is screaming wildly. Enjoy life people, we are here only a short time. Oh, and if you're wondering I have to wait to find out about the new test results. They are going to mail them to me. Apparently parent torture is involved in the whole testing process.
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