I thought I was going to lose it on my little 8 y/o ADHD/ODD boy in Harris Teeter today. For those non-Virginians - that is a grocery store. I thought he was 3 again and I also thought if I had my belt on, unfortunately with the dunlap disease (my belly dunlap over my waistband) I no longer need it with these jeans, I would angrily pull it off my 26 inch (in my mind) waist and let him have it.
He has the biggest heart. He loves to make people smile. I suppose he gets that from me and I got it from my dad. My dad. What a guy. He was my most favorite person in this whole wide world I ever met. He died when I was 19 and into my adulthood I often wondered how different my life would have been with him around. By the way, he's still my most favorite person I ever met. I call upon him often while going through the struggles of raising kids. I don't know if he can hear me or not, but I believe he can. I believe this because as soon as Jake came out (my mom was in the delivery room I heard "HE'S GUT YOUR FATHAH'S EAH'S") Non Yanks...He has your father's ears. 'Good' is what I thought to myself because I need dad to hear me. I also needed a cheesburger, fries and vanilla shake but that'll be a blog about giving birth. His Boston Red Sox baseball cap hangs right next to my desk and when I get discouraged I put it on. I guess I could call it my thinking cap, however like him, I don't really think, I just do. I am Greek and I am passionate. I love to love and have a zest for life. Sometimes I let circumstances get in the way of that and that reminds me that I am also hot tempered, which brings me back to Jake in the store. Holy crap. I think I said "get off the front of the cart" at least 18 times. Geesh we were running into people and they didn't like that so much. You have your occasional empathetic moms or grandmas..."oooohhhh, don't worry dear, this phase will pass." I think to myself "are you effin kidding me? We have been here for 8 years! Not a phase." My face says otherwise as I just smile and say "I hope so." You also get what I refer to as "The look." It is someone middle aged who probably never had kids, or if they did it was one of those perfectly behaved ones. This same look, oddly enough can come from a young 20 something who is thinking to themselves "nope, NEVER going there." Who needs birth control? Just go to the same store I am in. Guarantee no teen pregnancies.
I also love it when they say "your going to miss this." "Really? " I think to myself, because right now I want to gouge my eyeballs out so the ambulance can take me away to a happy place. Then there's check out. Why oh why do they have to put the candy and gum (and In touch weekly) right there? Because they are genius at marketing! They know full well I am at my wits end and will buy them anything to shut them up. Oh, and the mag's? Brilliant because after the exhausting 20 minutes I just spent buying milk and cheese and pasta I deserve a little me time when they go to bed to read up on some completely false bullshit about Hollywood. Ahhh, at this point at least I am reading. Did I mention that before we went in we were in the drive thru at the credit union and my car (w/new engine) started smoking? I shut her off and knew from the smell it was anti freeze. So the son-in-law (no, not Pauly Shore) came to my rescue and put the damn hose back in place and it was all good. I probably could've done it myself, but ya know. The men need to know they are needed! At least I was depositing and not withdrawing. Oh, and I had just filled her up and it was only $30.00. I say only because that is opposed to the well over $100.00 to fill the suburban. How can I not smile?
Oh, and back to the challenging well....tomorrow's another day. I love that Jake thinks that God made the huge winds that came through Hampton Roads just to remind people that God is here. After I heard him say that I caught a jolt. Yup, God had spoken to me through my son. Isn't God amazing? Oh, and by the way I think my son is too. As always, wine doesn't hurt and Emma is my precious sweetheart that keeps me sane.
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