M is for MOTHER...not MAID!

It challenges all us mommies. Stay home dads too, I am sure.   It can make your blood pressure rise.  It can make you want to go on strike.  It is so frustrating you want to scream, and sometimes succumb to just that.

They mess up what you have just cleaned.

Floors, bathrooms, beds, dishes, neatly folded laundry, table, microwave, counter tops...it doesn't matter, they are not picky, they'll screw it up!
You are not their maid.  You are a person who has feelings, emotions and the right to get upset when things are not how you want them.  And no, it isn't always your hormones.  It's their friggin' actions!  My oldest, my husband,  participates in this as well.  I could easily list ten things I did and they undid in the last 24 hours.  I get that the house will get messy again, we live here.  It's just...could I please have five flippin' minutes of glory in a clean house?  No.  The answer is No.  There was a wrapper for a subway straw on the top of the stairs for over a week.  I left it and since no one in the house is blind I know I am not the only one who saw it.  Eventually, it made its way to the bottom step.  Yesterday I pointed it out to the hubby.  "Yeah...I know it's been there like three days or so."  Really?  He is admitting that he has known about it and God love him he knows it was longer than three days.  He took the five seconds out of his busy schedule to pick it up and throw it out.  Oh, my oldest stepson works at Subway by the way. 
I find it amazing that I am the only one in the house who knows how to load and unload the dishwasher.  What a talent.  It never fails, as soon as the sink is free of dishes a bowl or cup mysteriously show up.  Speaking of cups - get one for the day not four throughout the day.  I mean how am I supposed to be able to lounge around and watch my reality TV while munching on bon bons if I have all these people to pick up after?  Did you know we have special toilets that when they are cleaned they send out an electro-vibe that lets one of the kids know it is time to come pee on the seat again?  I bet Alan paid extra for that.  First thing yesterday morning I straightened up the living room, complete with pillow arrangement/cushion fluff on both couches and the big chair.  I vacuumed and was impressed with how good it looked.  That lasted maybe, maybe five minutes.  Now, I know who jacked it up because there was only three of us here.  Stepson fourteen is on school vaca this week.  He managed to sit on both couches and the big chair, and somehow completely undo my beautifully fluffed cushion /pillow masterpiece and tracked grass and dirt in on the freshly vacuumed floor.  Also, the teddy bear that sits in the rocking chair was thrown across the room.  Yup, crazy making at it's finest.  Clearly this was done intentionally as he has on more than one occasion expressed his complete and utter dislike for me.  And if I say anything a huge argument will erupt between the hubby and I.  What's a girl to do?
Last night there was a sugar daddy wrapper on the coffee table - I noticed it around nine and asked, just to make sure one of my little angels didn't sneak it, whose it was.  It was darling husbands.  Guess where the wrapper is this morning?  Some of this may sound petty but it's not.  These are just a few examples of my daily frustrations that I am sure so many can relate to. Hmmm look, the table didn't get wiped after dinner last night.  Time to go put on my Super Mom cape and get this house neat and in order so they have something to do today...mess it up.  Yuck, it's laundry day.   Oh well, it could be worse.  The kids are healthy, Alan and I have been getting along better and I do have days when I don't want to choke him.  See, improvements.  Yessah, by God, I think we just might make it.

God is great, wine is good and my son makes me crazy...

I thought I was going to lose it on my little 8 y/o ADHD/ODD boy in Harris Teeter today.  For those non-Virginians - that is a grocery store.  I thought he was 3 again and I also thought if I had my belt on, unfortunately with the dunlap disease (my belly dunlap over my waistband) I no longer need it with these jeans, I would angrily pull it off my 26 inch (in my mind) waist and let him have it. 
He has the biggest heart.  He loves to make people smile.  I suppose he gets that from me and I got it from my dad.  My dad.  What a guy.  He was my most favorite person in this whole wide world I ever met.  He died when I was 19 and into my adulthood I often wondered how different my life would have been with him around.  By the way, he's still my most favorite person I ever met.  I call upon him often while going through the struggles of raising kids.  I don't know if he can hear me or not, but I believe he can.  I believe this because as soon as Jake came out (my mom was in the delivery room I heard "HE'S GUT YOUR FATHAH'S EAH'S")  Non Yanks...He has your father's ears.  'Good' is what I thought to myself because I need dad to hear me.  I also needed a cheesburger, fries and vanilla shake but that'll be a blog about giving birth.  His Boston Red Sox baseball cap hangs right next to my desk and when I get discouraged I put it on.  I guess I could call it my thinking cap, however like him, I don't really think, I just do.  I am Greek and I am passionate.  I love to love and have a zest for life.  Sometimes I let circumstances get in the way of that and that reminds me that I am also hot tempered, which brings me back to Jake in the store.  Holy crap.  I think I said "get off the front of the cart" at least 18 times.  Geesh we were running into people and they didn't like that so much.  You have your occasional empathetic moms or grandmas..."oooohhhh, don't worry dear, this phase will pass."  I think to myself   "are you effin kidding me?  We have been here for 8 years!   Not a phase."   My face says otherwise as I just smile and say "I hope so."   You also get what I refer to as "The look."  It is someone middle aged who probably never had kids, or if they did it was one of those perfectly behaved ones.  This same look, oddly enough can come from a young 20 something who is thinking to themselves "nope, NEVER going there."  Who needs birth control?  Just go to the same store  I am in.  Guarantee no teen pregnancies. 
I also love it when they say "your going to miss this."  "Really? "  I think to myself, because right now I want to gouge my eyeballs out so the ambulance can take me away to a happy place.  Then there's check out.  Why oh why do they have to put the candy and gum (and In touch weekly) right there?  Because they are genius at marketing!  They know full well I am at my wits end and will buy them anything to shut them up.  Oh, and the mag's?   Brilliant because after the exhausting 20 minutes I just spent buying milk and cheese and pasta I deserve a little me time when they go to bed to read up on some completely false bullshit about Hollywood.  Ahhh, at this point at least I am reading.  Did I mention that before we went in we were in the drive thru at the credit union and my car (w/new engine) started smoking?  I shut her off and knew from the smell it was anti freeze.  So the son-in-law (no, not Pauly Shore) came to my rescue and put the damn hose back in place and it was all good.  I probably could've done it myself, but ya know.  The men need to know they are needed!  At least I was depositing and not withdrawing.  Oh, and I had just filled her up and it was only $30.00.  I say only because that is opposed to the well over $100.00 to fill the suburban.  How can I not smile? 
Oh, and back to the challenging  well....tomorrow's another day.  I love that Jake thinks that God made the huge winds that came through Hampton Roads just to remind people that God is here.  After I heard him say that I caught a jolt.  Yup, God had spoken to me through my son. Isn't God amazing?  Oh, and by the way I think my son is too.  As always, wine doesn't hurt and Emma is my precious sweetheart that keeps me sane.