Define family.

The other day my husband and I were having yet another one of our heated discussions about the kids and he asked me what my definition of family is.
Scary question.
If you look it up in the dictionary you will find about ten different variations of the word and I suppose blended or step families could fit into one of those.  But when he asked me that question my thought surprised me.   Immediately pictures of my bio kids, my mom, dad and brother flashed in my head.  Luckily I didn't have to answer him because I looked out the window and noticed the neighbors chickens were in our back garden and he had just planted some seeds the day before and had to go save them.  It was also time for the bus to arrive with my little darlings.  Saved by the chickens. 
It got me thinking though and a little horrified that after being in this "family" with him and his kids for almost five years, the picture in my mind wasn't of all of us.  They didn't even show up.  Which means of course, that I don't consider them family. 
HUGE red flag...
I think I used to back when we were all new and shiny.  We have allowed the kids to come between us and our marriage is crumbling before my eyes and I can't seem to stop it.  There are so many walls that we have allowed the children to put up between us that he and I don't see us as a family.  How are the kids supposed to?  After all children learn by example.  Oh crap.
He used to make me a priority and I did him and we don't do that anymore.  We promised before we married that we would never lose that and we have.  When are you too far gone to save it? 
I was so mad the other night about the double standards he has and his most current ex wife calling the shots that I started beating the broom on the floor while sweeping.  I stopped myself, grabbed my phone and went to the truck and called Shugs to vent.  Shugs is a good friend.  Twenty minutes later I felt a little better after hearing I was right - even if it wasn't from him - and returned to sweeping.   Maybe next time, rest assured there will be a next time, I will just take off on the broom instead...eh?  Geesh.  I can't even have a glass of wine because of a medication I am taking. 
Even though more often than not there are days when the only view I want of him and this house is in the rear view mirror I will stay and fight for our marriage and "family".  At least that is my thought today.  Thoughts are subject to change depending on level of frustration and right now all his kids are gone and he's outside.