Today I choose to write about me. It isn't a post about trials of a blended family. It is a story that I would like to share. I felt someone, weather or not I personally know them needs to read it. God is good like that, so I will give him the glory for this one.
About umpteen years ago I rented a basement apartment in Cleveland, Ga. Yes, that is the home of the Cabbage Patch Kids. Anyway, I kind of accidentally happened upon this place and really liked the lady ( Dana) who would be my landlord and lived above me with her lovely family, a husband and 2 young kids. She was a realtor in town and was always smiling. I was
Dana saw something in me that I didn't. She had a belief in God that I didn't ... well quite understand yet. See, when I prayed he heard, I just fought him at every step. At some point I was behind on my rent, drunk most of the time and down. I went with a friend to La. No, not Los Angeles but Louisiana. Baton Rouge to gamble. I mean who doesn't do that when they have negative ten dollars to their name? My friend was an older, like grandfather older, gentleman whom I loved dearly. No, it wasn't whatever you are thinking. It was a friendship that time nor age could match. And we laughed a lot.
Upon my return and being sober for about 15 hours I knew I had to face things.
Finally I am getting to the part of the story that is fulfilling.
He pulled in the drive and let me out of the car. I knew what I had to do and was so scared and mad at myself. "Knock, knock, knock" "Hey Angie!" With that bright smile. "C'mon in!" I couldn't hold the waterfall back. I had made a mess of my life. For some reason, I always feel worse when people are nice to me when I feel like crap. "Don't cry." She said with her perfectly polished red lipstick. "Please, don't be nice to me." I begged. "I don't deserve it." She just took my hand in a knowing manor and led me to a chair at her dining room table.
After I told her how horrible my life had come to be and how awful I felt about myself she told me a story that she had heard from one of the elders at church but didn't really listen to the whole story so decided to take bits from it that spoke to her. She has no idea of the magnificence of the effect on me of this simple story. Basically, it was one day a couple was out driving and there was a red bird. She actually said more in the story than that, but like her, I chose to hear what I needed to. She said for her it boiled down to she would symbolize the red bird with Jesus and he would be there with her watching over. So what I took from her shortened version of the story to make it my own is red bird = Jesus. She continued to let me live there and I caught up on rent. To this day my fave apartment is that one. I even had my own huge deck. What I didn't tell you is that before I even met her I had driven by the house with a friend, just riding around daydreaming, saw the house and told him boldly..."One day I will live there" he said "yeah, right." I didn't know where the feeling came from, but do now.
About 6 years ago I had my first red bird experience. I had another today. Sure, I have seen red birds in between these 2 times and thought of the story but none struck me as hard as 6 years ago and today. I am wicked stressed about stuff I won't go into here, but it's a lot - walking into my dining room thinking to myself - facebook status "Go ahead Devil, keep up your crap. I got God on my side." Low and behold I look out the window and there is a beautiful Cardinal staring at me. Yes God, I know you have my back.
So there it is and when you see a red bird I hope you know who is with you and watching you.
By the way, I now understand what she saw in me and it took me becoming someone better than I used to be to realize it. She saw herself.
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