Do you ever reflect on yourself and go "self, what were you thinkin'?!" I do. I do it often. I have made many bad, impulsive choices in my life.
Those days are gone. I think things through now and understand the consequences I will endure if I execute the plan that is brewing in my head. I use the word 'brewing' because, well don't all witches?
Here is a prime example: A dear friend is marrying her love this weekend up in Maine and I won't be there. It is really upsetting me. I know my darling husband won't give me any sympathy. He has lived in Chesapeake his whole life and has never had to face this personally so he just won't get it. Which reminds me, I hate it when you are going through something and people will say..."oh, I know how you feel." That ticks me off. YOU have NO IDEA how I feel, dumbass. You've never been in this situation. Though I appreciate the concern don't say what you think I need to hear. Just give me a friggin' hug and have a cocktail with me. Alan would never BS about it. He can't even pretend he cares. That's a quality in him I find refreshing. Oh yeah, back to my friend and her nuptials. Two nights ago I was online looking at plane tickets. Round trip it would've been under one paycheck but that was to Boston so then I would have to rent a car or be pathetic enough to a friend...also, I would have to find someone to watch my kids for three days and that is next to impossible. Talked myself out of hitting confirm. See, a few years ago I would've just bought the ticket and figured everything else out after - bringing huge stress into my life. So last night I was thinking - I'll just drive and bring Jake and Emma with me. I mean really, who wouldn't want to be in a vehicle for fifteen hours twice in three days with a seven y/o and an ADHD nine y/o? For a few moments I had myself convinced that it was a brilliant plan. Then I started thinking...bathroom stops, "I'm bored" "are we there yet?" "I'm hungry" "Jaaaaaaaaake don't touch me" "Emma give that back". Just as quick as the 'yes' decision was in my mind on hopping in the car and taking off - it left! My sanity is far more important than seeing a person who I love and admire marry the love of her life. Yup, those two, they got whatever that 'it' is that most only search for, coming up empty.
All if this proves something to me. The personal growth books I have been reading and the trainings I have had from having a business that is the dreaded...network marketing...didn't lie. The way I think is changing and it's getting better every single day. I have grown more in this last year than in the prior ten combined. I owe it all to Arbonne. My kids deserve the best person I can be and that is what they are going to get. They truly are my biggest fans for my business. They don't know fear, they just know mommy will have a white Mercedes one day.
See, learning really never does stop. Unless your a teenager cause they know everything.
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