Forty eight hours ago I was on I-95 south in Waterville, just starting the long trip home. The temperature was cool at this point so it mattered not that the AC decided to quit in my car while on this trip. Each time I pull out of Mom's driveway, my childhood home, I get jarred back to when I was 21 and pulling out of that driveway "for good." Heading to Montana in my car with $500.00 to my name and a bunch of dreams on my mind and a huge grin on my face. Oh, and divorce #1 underway.
This trip was especially nostalgic for me, as it was my twenty year class reunion. Twenty flippin' years.
I wasn't in the 'popular' click in high school and really thought twice about going to the reunion. I mean seriously, why would I want to see a bunch of people I wasn't friends with? Those that looked down their noses at me in the halls of Hampden Academy? Why? Because I am slimmer than I was back then and covertly hoped they were all fat. Who needs a better reason than that? I am also pretty nosy and was curious as to where life had taken people. I must say, we all look pretty damn good as we are rapidly approaching 40. Less than half the class showed up. More did show up for the adults only evening...well I'll say it like it was... beer fest. For me, being back home, seeing everyone, most I hadn't seen for 20 years, caused me to reflect on where I am at in life. Am I truly happy? Am I where I want to be? Would my children be better off up here? Are the Red Sox going to take it ever again? Is that a pimple erupting on my chin? Why are my husband and I on separate vacations? Do my gray hairs stand out to them as much as they do to me? All of those questions ran through my head in like 15 seconds. No ADD here.
Anyway it was a fun time and I am glad I went. I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun I had. And yes, I can do the running man in flip flops. Impressive. Some of us ended the night (actually morning) at Dysart's for some extra calories in case the million from the beer weren't enough. I am grateful to all who planned, you did a fab job. I know how busy everyone is so thanks for taking the time out of your busy lives to make sure we could all get drunk together again. :)
We lost 4 of our classmates before graduation. Over the years I have wondered who they would be if they were still here. Would they have gone to college? What would they have named their children? Now, as a parent I tear up for different reasons then before. I can't even begin to imagine what their parents, or any parents go through when they lose a child. Perhaps one of the reasons I have lived life in the fast lane is because they were taken from us so young so I have chosen to live each day to the fullest. Being content has always been my biggest struggle and I suppose it always will be. I want to do it all. I want to see everything. I have done a lot and seen a lot and have thought of Jamie, Mike, Chad and Robbie in my travels. I thought of them when I was at Yosemite and Yellowstone and Mt. Rushmore. I thought of them on my hikes on the Parkway and throughout Oregon. They have even come to mind while I have been in Vegas. They all loved life. And they all are on our minds and living right along with us in our hearts. "It ain't fair you died too young, like a story that had just begun but death tore the pages all apart..."
Remember how I said I didn't mind the AC being out at the start of the trip? Well it sucked out loud from Massachusetts on. Sitting in the flippin' Bronx for 3 hours with the sun beating down on you and no AC just plain sucked. But I know...it could always be worse. I try to keep that in mind - when I am in crappy situations...it could always be worse. And at some points in my life, it has been.
